Mixed Emotions

It's been quite a hectic last several days for me. From driving 4 hours to see my friend in Alabama, to staying out late with him and his buddies to having drive back 4 hours the next day for my brother's high school graduation to going out again with my friend and his sisters friends to having my brother's high school graduation party yesterday afternoon. Needless to say I have had a lot going on plus all the while trying to find jobs that are non-existent, as well as a number of other different personal things that I have been thinking about lately. First off, Florence, Alabama is a nice little city, about the size of my hometown, where my good friend from high school goes to school at. I heard people say how tired of how small their town was and how they just wanted to get out of there because there was nothing to do. All I can say, is if you think Florence is small, go to school in Banner Elk, NC for 4 years, than you will know the true definition of small. At any place you go to in this world you can find stuff to do and while we are on that note why do we always need things to do. What is wrong with chilling out every once in awhile, you can do that anywhere regardless of the size of the place. I think the problem stems from unrealistic expectations of what college life is supposed to be. You see a movie, you talk to an older sibling or friend and they tell you about their experiences and you, naturally want the same kinds of experiences. And when those experiences don't happen the way that you want them to you become disappointed and frustrated at the place you are at instead of living in and enjoying the moment. Kids in my generation have this huge sense of entitlement that they feel things should just be given to them and that they always need to be doing stuff, etc. It is ridiculous and bothers me more than just about anything. I enjoyed my time in Florence and it made me appreciate the smallness of Banner Elk while also being able to appreciate the size of Florence. There were many reasons why God allowed me to stay at the same place for 4 years and I think one of them was that so that I would learn to appreciate my surroundings and be grateful of the area that I live in. I don't need much to entertain me, I don't need the brightness of the big city, although I think it would be cool to experience a big city for a little while to help put things in the right perspective. My brother's high school graduation gave me a lot of time to reflect on my high school experiences and how short ago it seemed that I was in his shoes. It feels like just yesterday that I was in high school with very few worries of what was going to happen next, because I knew where I would be in 3 months. I had no idea of the experiences that I would have and the people I would meet. Now 4 years later I find myself in a precarious position of uncertainty, frustration, and self-doubt. Do I have the skills to be successful in this world? Will I ever meet that special someone who makes my life more complete? Will I be willing and able to take those risks? Being able to forego my shyness and just go for it in any situation. Will I be able to be comfortable in my own skin and not worry what others might say about me? I need to develop a thicker skin than I have now because that is the one thing that sets me back is my reluctance to speak out for fear of being wrong. Finding that balance between not talking enough and being social enough is something I need to strike a balance with. I am tired of having regrets of not talking to certain people when I know I should be getting to know them and trying to forge some type of meaningful relationship. It keeps me up many a night recently. I always think there will be other times to talk to someone, but know that will not be the case. I try to always live in the moment, but many a time my mind will wonder off in that moment and I become distracted thinking about what is going to happen next instead of enjoying the company I am in. I don't know why I do that, maybe some psychology expert has an answer for that. I think part of it is that I like to think before I speak and when I say that I mean I need to plan out word for word what I am going to say in a certain situation when it happens. I cannot wing things very well, never have been good at that. Like for example this weekend with my brother's graduation party this weekend, I knew the question would come up about what I am going to do next with my life? I planned out so many different answers because I have nothing specific that I have decided upon. That is just who I am probably will always be to some extent. While its not a bad idea to think before you speak, I hope I can develop more spontaneity as I grow older. I like catching people off guard, when they say "I did not know that about you," or "I totally did not see that coming from you." So I have that going for me I guess, that element of surprise, but also it tells me that I am not painting the proper picture of myself and not many people know what I am about. It's all about balance. This is the most difficult time ever for me in terms of emotions and stuff going on my life that I am uncertain about. I thought going to middle school everyday and dealing with the emotions of puberty and certain teachers that made me a little uncomfortable at the time, but now realize they weren't really that bad. I don't know who all will read this but this format serves me well for getting things off my chest. Take care.

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College Football Preview

Today I am going to make a return to sports talk, with an early look at College Football. Yes, I like many others out there is making predictions 3 months out of the season. Hey its never too early to talk about College Football in the South or anywhere for that matter, without further ado here is my early 2009 predictions for this season (subject to change until the season starts)... Feel free to disagree and share your comments with me, this is just one man's opinion.

NCAA Football 2009

ACC Atlantic
1. Wake Forest
2. Florida State
3. N.C. State
4. Clemson
5. Boston College
6. Maryland
ACC Coastal
1. Virginia Tech
2. Georgia Tech
3. UNC
4. Miami
5. Virginia
6. Duke

Big 11
1. Ohio State
2. Penn State
3. Michigan State
4. Illinois
5. Wisconsin
6. Iowa
7. Minnesota
8. Northwestern
9. Michigan
10. Purdue
11. Indiana

Big East
1. Pittsburgh
2. Cincinnati
3. West Virginia
4. Rutgers
5. South Florida
6. Connecticut
7. Louisville
8. Syracuse

Big 12 North
1. Missouri
2. Nebraska
3. Kansas
4. Colorado
5. Kansas State
6. Iowa State
Big 12 South
1. Oklahoma
2. Texas
3. Oklahoma State
4. Texas Tech
5. Baylor
6. Texas A&M

Pac-10
1. USC
2. Oregon
3. California
4. Oregon State
5. Stanford
6. Arizona State
7. UCLA
8. Arizona
9. Washington
10. Washington State

SEC East
1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. South Carolina
4. Vanderbilt
5. Tennessee
6. Kentucky
SEC West
1. Ole Miss
2. LSU
3. Alabama
4. Arkansas
5. Auburn
6. Mississippi State

Top 25
1. Florida
2. Oklahoma
3. USC
4. Texas
5. Virginia Tech
6. Ohio State
7. Ole Miss
8. LSU
9. Oklahoma State
10. Oregon
11. Boise State
12. TCU
13. Georgia Tech
14. Alabama
15. Georgia
16. California
17. Penn State
18. Oregon State
19. Utah
20. North Carolina
21. Cincinnati
22. Texas Tech
23. BYU
24. Nebraska
25. Florida State
Comments: I don't claim to know much about conferences outside of the South, so take those picks with a grain of salt. I relied a lot on the opinions of others to give me a base in which to work with in conferences like the Big 11, Pac 10, Big East, and Big 12. Now to the conference we care about here, the SEC. Florida, is the defending National Champs and return their whole defense, not to mention this guy named Tebow. While I despise everything that the Gators do, they are the best team with probably the best coach in the conference which means they have the best team with one of the best coaches in the entire country. They have so many athletes, with so much speed and they are well coached and they are physical on both sides of the ball. There is no reason Florida should ever be worse than 10-2 in any season, if they do it is just because of bad coaching. The state of Florida has so much talent, it is ridiculous. UGA poses the only other serious threat in the East. 5th year senior Joe Cox takes the reigns at QB and will do a solid job behind a more experienced offensive line. I keep thinking back to the DJ Shockley year at QB for UGA in 2005 and think that this season could be very similar. A season that saw the Dawgs winning the SEC Title. The key will be the defense and if it can bounce back this year after taking a step back last year. Finding a pass rush and learning how to tackle would help. South Carolina gets the third spot by default. Their defense will be good I am sure but I have not done full research on them, so this pick could easily change over the summer. Vanderbilt returns a lot from their team from last year and I expect them to go to a second consecutive bowl game after getting over the hump last year. Tennessee will struggle because they do not have a QB and I am not sure about Kentucky, they could be better but they just lost one of their best defensive players to a year long suspension for steroid use.

The West should be a little more competitive I think. Ole Miss is the popular pick for now so I will stick with them for now. Jevean Snead will help to lead the way for the Rebels, I do worry about their OLine, but the defense will be as strong as ever so thats where I hang my hat on. LSU is a big mystery, always full of talent, but the Les Miles era has proven very rocky and inconsistent so you are never quite sure what you are going to get from them. I like Jordan Jefferson at QB, Charles Scott at RB, and their OL is always pretty good. I like the hire of John Chavis at DCoordinator, formerly of Tennessee, his units were always solid and well prepared and I think he return some of that discipline to the Tiger defense. Alabama, they had a big year last year but I expect them to take a step back this year. They are bringing in a new QB, which always leads to struggles in this conference. Nick Saban is a jerk, but also has a proven track record of success. How long will he stay at Bama and can he keep them at the top of this very competitive conference, that remains to be seen. So for now, I place them in the middle until further research can be conducted on this squad. Arkansas, much to my chagrin will be better this year. Ryan Mallett takes the reigns of Bobby Petrino's offense. This team will have improved talent and was competitive in games they should not have been in last year. So that experience will help them this year. They will probably be top 25 before the season is over. Auburn, brings in a new coach, has big question marks at QB and on offense where they had one of the worst in the country last season. Guz Malzahn will help at OC, but how much we do not know at this moment. Auburn always has a good defense and that will keep them competitive and they may be able to steal some games that they shouldn't win, but this team also likes to lose games that they should win, so a .500 season is about where they should finish, unless Gene Chizik and their QB's are better than we think right now. Mississippi State was a disappointment to me and a few others last year. It is just hard to get quality football players to come to Starkville. Probably one of the toughest places to win in major college football. Dan Mullen is the new coach their taking over for Sly Croom, so it remains to be seen how much he can do with this program after spending the last few seasons as OC for the Gators. The West should be competitive and I look forward to see what happens with the best conference in the land in the fall.

Like I said I do not really care much for the other conferences so you can look at the picks and decipher what you will. As of right now I think Florida wins it all, but I am sure that could change. I think there is a clear separation of teams after the top 6. Virginia Tech and Ohio State should take care of business in their conferences, as well USC in the Pac-10. That is all I have for now. I could keep talking about this for hours on end, but it is time to eat so I will leave you these nuggets to chew on. Enjoy.

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The Happenings

So I have had a busy last few days that can be basically summarized like this. Eat, Drink, Sleep, Graduation, Eat, Drink, Sleep, Sleep some more, go to Linville Falls, Eat, Sleep, Drive home, Sleep alot more, Run, Eat, Sleep, Eat, Run, Eat again, now on computer typing this to you. Graduation was a blast, I had so much fun spending time with family and classmates. It was a bittersweet last couple of days. Not knowing when or if you will see any of your friends again. Worrying if some of the relationships you made will stand the test of time. Deep down I know this won't be true. We all live in different parts of the country and the world. I can only hope that we can maintain something meaningful over these next stages in our life. I wish that I had hung out with more of my classmates more often because they were just cool to hang with and I never gave it a full chance. I waited too long to get know some of these people and that is the one regret I will leave school with. But with every downside in life there comes an opportunity to learn something from it. It didn't occur to me initially, but after talking to one of these classmates/friend, that opportunity is to realize the mistake of being too shy and stop being a weenie when it comes to meeting new people. Take advantage of every opportunity, you never know who you might meet. So I am going to consciously work on that, it does not come naturally to me so it is something I always need to be aware of. Just being more friendly towards others will help my cause I think. Life is about relationships, making new ones, working on old ones, and everything else in between. It is always intriguing to me what others have to say, their perspective on things, its fresh, its refreshing and keeps the mind working and challenges it. These four years flew by. I can't believe I am done with school. The question is: what to do I do now? For now I will rest and recover from all of this. I am trying to figure where to look for jobs and what kinds of jobs I want to try to pursue. The job market is tough, so it will require patience. I like to relax, but I want to have some kind of purpose and direction in my life. I can't do that sitting on my ass, hoping something will come to me. I have to go after it, but go after it with a plan and goal in mind. I can only pray that I will find my true calling in life and find something that I enjoy doing, whether that is owning my own business, or working in sports somehow. All I need is an opportunity to get my foot in the door. That is where maintaining and building relationships with others becomes really important. Can't burn those bridges and no stone can be left unturned. With a little hard work and a vision of what you want to do, many things can be accomplished.

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Expectations and Graduation

Expectations, you got to be careful with this word. Throughout my life I have learned to keep expectations reasonable and realistic. Never has that become more apparent to me over these last 24 hours or so. I am not an overly religious person but I do believe that everything happens for a reason according to a plan set aside by a higher being. You should not set the bar too high or you will just end up being disappointed. I should have heeded my own advice for this week's expectations for graduation, which will be tomorrow at 11am. I like to envision how certain things will turn out for every important event in my life, whether it be athletic or academic related. I envision the people who will be here, the stories that will be shared, etc.. If recent events are an indicator of how things will be different post-college than I thank the Lord for testing my will and how to handle myself when things do not go according to plan. I know deep down there is a reason behind all this "drama" and one day I will know for sure why it all happened the way it did. With out knowing how I will feel approximately 24 hours from now or what events will transpire between now and then, I will try to regain that excitement that had been building all week and re envision a new scenario with different people and different events. Without going into too much detail over the last 18 hours; my grandpa and his wife will not be able to attend because of a knee injury he suffered yesterday, a friend of mine who graduated last year will not be able to attend because of last minute academic responsibilities that could not be helped, a close friend who has mysteriously gone MIA over the last 48 hours, and the lady who was in charge of booking our cabin for this weekend wrote down the wrong days and we have to push back the move in date 24 hours to Saturday. I can already some silver lining, pointed out to me by my dad, the place that my family has to stay at for this evening is pretty cramped and would have been more cramped had my grandfather and his wife been up here. So I guess that worked out OK. I was also looking forward to getting out of this dorm by this afternoon but that will have to wait until tomorrow afternoon. Its an adjustment I will have to make, whats one more day in a dorm? Some might say oh that's not a big deal, but it is to someone like me at this point in my life. With an event like Graduation every one has expectations of how it will turn out. You want to do such and such thing with such and such person. Over these last few years I have tried to consciously evolve from a high strung, too uptight person to someone who could just go with the flow and let things happen as they may. These recent events have emphasized that kind of evolution that I have been on and continue to be on in every day of my life. With every negative situation there arises an opportunity for something positive to happen. I am going to try my darnedest to make sure that I have a good time over these next few days and that I do not ruin anybody elses good time with a negative attitude or disposition. There are not many people that really truly care about what goes on in your life. Everybody has their own shit to deal with they don't want to be burdened with your troubles because they have troubles of their own. These issues are family issues and that is where they will be discussed, not among friends. I want to leave here on a positive note and in good spirits. I can't do that if I carry the burden of those who are not here. While I will miss them, I have to move on. I know these people could not be here for valid reasons so I can respect that and know that if they could be here they would be. So on that note I would like to say thank you to everyone who has helped me along my journey. My family, my good friends, my coaches, my professors, my grade school teachers. Thank you for helping me along the way. I will not forget how much you have done for me. I really appreciate it.

"Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

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I am Done

As of 12:34 EST Monday May 18, 2009 I am officially done with college here at Lees-McRae. It has been a long time coming. Ever since I first walked on this campus for the first time as a student in August 2005, I have dreamed about this moment. As a young freshman you never think this day will come, it seems so far away at first, but as each semester passes by you realize how close you are to moving on into the real world. These last couple of weeks have been difficult from the standpoint of seeing all of the people you went to high school with finishing up their college careers a week or two before you, while you sit here and suffer agonizingly as you wait for the semester to drag to an end. And what a beautiful day up here in the mountains to signal the end for me. The sun is finally out and the weather is absolutely perfect. I have a little less than a week to spend up here. I am looking forward to what this week will bring. All of the fun and memories that are sure to be made. I have been making a conscious attempt to be nice and friendly to as many people as I can because I want to leave here on a positive note with everyone. That is something I need to do more ofter, open myself up and let people see what kind of a person I am. No need to hold grudges now, I am now in a carefree and happy. No worries for awhile, time to have some real fun. I don't think I will stop smiling for awhile. The grin has not left my face since we completed our presentation this morning around 11:30. This is a week of celebration and good times. Nothing really to worry about anymore. Looking back on all my years of schooling, I can't believe I have finally made it to this point. I talked about how far away this day seemed as a freshman, I remember thinking about this back in the 5th grade. That was 11 years ago. A lot of things have happened since then. High school seemed like it was just last week, and college seemed like it started a few days ago. A week after I graduate, my little brother will be ending his high school days and soon to beginning upon the journey I started 4 years ago. My little sister will be beginning her high school journey in the fall. My, where has the time gone? I remember the exact moment of where I was when she was born. Now she has grown so much I can't believe it. She has grown so much since I have been away up at school. Every time I see her it seems like she has grown another 2 inches. Whatever happened to that little girl who used to be my sister. Now she is nearly full grown, over 5ft tall and a string bean. She will always be my little sis, but now I will begin to think of her a little differently, a high schooler, hard to believe. So no more tests, no more presentations, no more studying, all that is left is to walk across the stage Saturday morning. I am done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anticipation

Sorry its been awhile since I last posted. I have been busy wrapping up my collegiate career. I have had several presentations and tests over the last 5-6 days or so. I have also been having a blast hanging out with a bunch of my business class peers. I have really enjoyed my last weeks up here and I think I will end up missing the comforts that this school has brought me. I have met so many cool people from all sorts of different backgrounds. I have gotten to know my professors and have been given the tools to succeed in this world. Now it is just a matter of finding that passion and seeking it out to the fullest. A guest speaker, who had been very successful in her industry, that I had the pleasure of listening to earlier this week said a couple of things that really hit me. She said you need to find the shoe that fits, find that thing you are good at and do that very thing. Don't necessarily do what is hard or what others think you should do. Do what comes easy to you because it is the right fit for you. She also said that you need to have a vision of where you see your life and career headed to. You need to think and dream big so that you can achieve big. This really spoke to me and served as part of my motivation to become successful in this world. I want to start up a business with a friend of mine. I won't reveal the idea at this point because it is still in its inital phases, but we believe it is an idea and a plan that can really work. So I am excited to get that process underway. In the meantime, I am looking forward to just taking a break away from responsbility for awhile. I want to take my time this summer and find something that suits me. I need time to regroup and refocus my energies to gear up for the next phase in my life. My only regrets about my four years here is that I didn't get to know other people outside of cross country team. I think it would have made me a lot better person and plus I think I would have had a lot more fun and more memories to be shared. Not that I didn't enjoy the time I had with my team, but I feel like there was definitely something missing from college experience. I have really gotten to know a lot of my business classmates over these last few weeks and it makes me realize what I was missing. It is just a different perspective thats all. A fresh perspective where the conversation is always centered around running. That is why I have enjoyed my 3 weeks off of running, it has served as more of a mental break than a physical one I think. There are days where I do not even think about running, or anything related to the sport and this is something I did not think was possible at any point in my 8+ years of running. I was so consumed by it that I did not take the time to apprecaite the other facets of life. I got better with having more of a "life" over my 4 years here. But with everything I did, every action I did, I always had running in the back of my mind. If it wasn't in the back of my mind, some teammate was always bringing up how a certain situation was going to effect my running. I think this last year of running I struggled with trying to only think of running when it was time to run and not all the time. I think this hurt my focus a little this year, I was not being anayltical in my training like I probably should have, but then again I think I still put forth the same physical effort, but my mind was worried about so many different things. With all this being said, I am actually looking forward to getting back into decent shape after all this school stuff is over with in about a week or so. It will be a different approach to running I think. One where I am not going to pre-determine the time or distance I will be running but to just go the distance I feel like on that particular day. There is no rush to get into shape for anything, take time to enjoy it and appreciate everything that I have been given in my life. All the people who have helped me to get where I am today, too numerous to mention. Every new person I meet allows me to see things in a different perspective, a different light, that is what I will miss from this place I called home for 4 years. Meeting so many different people. I hope to keep up my relationships with them as that is what I will miss the most about this small school up in the mountains. The people, the team, but most of all, the memories I shared with them all over the years. I wish I had more memories, but the ones that I did have will stick with me forever. Everything happens for a reason. I need to work on some things about myself, but overall I am pleased with how everything has turned out. I look to the future with great antisipation and excitement. It is really hard for me, and those of you who know me well can attest to this, to not know what I will be doing next. I like to have a plan for everything, usually pretty strict plan if you know me. The future for me now is truly an unknown and I could not be more thrilled. Thanks for reading.

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Reflection and Thanks

What a beautiful day here in the mountains of North Carolina. Temperatures hovering around 70 under partly cloudy skies. No sign of rain for the first time in about 2 weeks as we have had some form of rain here over about a 2 week period. All of those rainy, and somewhat miserable days make up for it on days like this. Took about a 30 minute walk around campus this afternoon to soak it all in and just get some fresh air and exercise. It was very enjoyable and it helped to clear my mind of any troubles. Each day for me over the last week has gotten progressively better from a mental health standpoint. These are the best days of life for sure right now. Still under the protection of school, but winding it all up in less than a week gives me great joy. The anticipation of the moment I am done with it has been building steadily over the last several days. I keep imagining how I will feel and really won't truly know until it has all been completed. I have exams of variety in nature on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday. A few presentations, a couple of papers, a test is what awaits me. I am not liking how some of these projects and presentations are going to be weighted so much compared to other things but I guess it just gives me an opportunity to really come through in the clutch with some good grades. I think I am going to miss this place, the friends and relationships that I have established with so many here, the senior business class is one that I will never forget as we have had so many wonderful memories with each other. Reflecting upon it now I realize how much I have enjoyed spending time with a majority of these folks. We all know each other's strengths and weaknesses in the classroom and most recently have gotten to know each other more on a personal level as we have completed our senior research class. I think its that common bond that we all shared to get our final business plans completed and presented. It is a unique bond that we have developed that can only be shared by those in the class. We all seem to get along except for a few instances where are competitiveness, stubbornness, and ego get in the way of each other. When you are dealing with 22-23 year olds their is a lot of emotion, stress, and uncertainty of what is around the corner and I think that contributes to some of the tension we have at times. I am glad I chose the major that I did because it brought me to come into contact with some neat people of different ethnic backgrounds and cultures. I also came into contact with some wonderful professors who have shared their experiences with us on a personal and non-personal level that I really respect. It helps to know where people come from so you can better understand the message they are trying to send to you. My professors have not been hesitant to share in personal stories of success and failures and I really appreciate all that have done to help the business department grow to where it is today. I hope I am able to maintain contact with all of them. My peers in the classroom as well as the professors to whom I have spent many a hour and day with. There are so many memories that I leave here with and I am very grateful for the decision I made to come here. It was a place that allowed me to grow and develop at my own pace. It is also a good place because of its location it allows a lot of time for reflection and perspective on your role in this world. There are not many distractions here and that allows for you to process things and really think about things. It has given me a lot of time to reflect on my future and what steps I need to make in my life to become a better person and a successful person. I have learned that success is not always defined by material possessions but in how you treat and deal with others, to be well-respected is the most important quality I want others to see in me. I have so many people to thank, but I would be remiss if I did not mention my parents who have not so much pushed me but helped to guide me along the way. They have always been there when I needed something and they continue to be there for me as I enter this next phase in my life. They have not forced me to do anything I did not want to do. They have supported all of the decisions I have made and have allowed me to grow at my own pace. They don't interfere, they have done a great job and I thank them for not trying to make me something I am not. So I end this little walk down memory lane. I hope to have many new memories along the way and I look forward in anticipation as to what lies around the corner. For the first time in 22 years I truly do not know what awaits me and I could not be more thrilled.

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Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! Take time to appreciate those who brought us into this world. I know I do. There are just so many things I could say about my own mom, too numerous to mention and I fear I would leave some things out. So I won't list them here on this blog.

Take care. 13 days away!! Go Braves!

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Winding Down The Road

Sorry I have not been updating this as much as I want to. Been busy with school functions and tending to academic responsibilities. I have also been battling a little cough/stuffed up nose the last few days, so that has also slowed me down a tad. Started taking medicine for it Tuesday evening and have felt a lot better today, so that is encouraging, at least it wasn't the swine flu. It took some prodding by one of my buddies here at school to finally get me to go see a doctor on Tuesday. I usually try to beat illnesses naturally for a couple of days and than I resort to taking medicine if it starts effecting me too much. I guess it is kind of a male pride type thing. Don't want to take medicine unless its absolutely necessary and don't want to have to spend money on medicine either. I'd rather spend it on other things like food or nice clothes or something like that.

The "stache" has been operating under about 5-6 hours of sleep a night this week, so that has been adjustment I have had to deal with. I have had trouble getting to sleep this week and I have several theories behind this phenomenon. One is that I have had some major coughing fits right as I try to go to bed, this is a likely cause for the first couple of days for sure this week. Two, is that I have a lot of stuff on my mind this week. A lot of things going on this week. Our Senior Omega Projects were on Wednesday, had to celebrate completion of the Omega projects Wednesday night, which was a good stress reliever for all that attended, had a test today in another class, along with the worries of other upcoming projects and tests and also of my future after college. Which seems to be a popular topic of conversation around the water cooler these last couple of weeks. I hate giving the "I do not know" response, but its true right now. I do not know what I really want to do, don't know when I am going to figure that out, hopefully sooner than later, but we'll see what God has in store for me. My third and final theory on my sleep deprivation this week is my lack of physical exercise. I just feel a little restless at night. I have only ran once in the last 11 days. It is all part of my plan to just get away for awhile, and then jump back into it when I am back home after school gets out. I think my mind needs an opportunity to recover from all that competitive running that I have done. For any of those of you out there who have done any kind of running, you know the mental challenges it possess and I just need to take a step back from the grind of it all. Also from this standpoint it allows me to focus all my energies onto finishing up the semester strongly. I know they say running can stimulate the mind, but I like I said I needed a break from that because it can bring you down physically which means you need more rest and thus less time to do studying. I have noticed one thing and I knew this would happen, my appetite has shrank over the last week and a half. I now eat more like a "normal" person. Instead of getting 3-4 plates of food plus desserts, it is closer to 1-2 plates a meal and sometime I do not finish the food on these plates. I realize the importance of not stuffing myself, cause that is how you put on the weight. Quality over quantity is what I am trying to stress more now.

Only 16 days stand between me and the real world, can't believe that day is so close. The days seem to be picking up speed. I am not sure what I am going to feel on that day or when its going to hit me that I need to make up my mind on what the heck I want to do. It's crunch time now, followed by chill time for about a month, and then its serious time to find a job. Someone has got to pay off the 17k that I owe to the government after 4 years of school. I'd prefer it not be my parents, they have already paid enough money on me. It's time to start being more responsible and make some life decisions, but not yet, not yet.

Mb

Camp 360

The artist formerly known as the "stache" has just completed all of the assignments assoicated with our Senior Research/Omega project. All that is left is the presentation. For those that are not familiar with what I am talking about, our senior research business class was divided into 4 groups of 4-5 members each. We had to come up with a business plan on what to do with the 200+ acres of land that the school owns on its property. Our group came up with the idea of a camp called Camp 360. This camp would be geared towards youth groups from local churches in the area. The basic idea behind the 360 came from what Lees-McRae College has came up as its motto this past year. A 360 degree experience in your education incompassing many different aspects not just inside the classroom. We want the campers at our camp to have a variety of different experiences, all seperate, but all connected in the end. We want them to have fun, but to also work hard and learn some different things along the way. A full, unique expereince, different from any camp they have ever been to is what we are trying to accomplish with this camp. Last I checked, we had the idea to set up 6 cabins with one central multi-purpose building set away in the woods of the 200 acre plot of land. Each cabin would hold 10 campers with 2 counselors per cabin. The main facility would be used for dining, as well as other different kinds of activities and such that we see fit. Our plan is to be open weekly during the summer and on weekends during the winter months. There would be a lot of planned, off-site activities, such as whitewater rafting or skiing in the winter time. There were a lot of different things that we had to put into consideration when putting this together, more than you would realize. All of the zoning issues, how much it would cost for each of the buildings, how much it would cost to build roads to the buildings. What kind of roads to use, gravel or paved? The terrain of the land, how you take that into consideration. It took us awhile to decide on the activities we wanted our campers to partake in and whether we wanted weekly or weekend camps. Did we want to hire a full time camp manager? The answer to that was yes we did. This person would be resonsible for marketing the camp and finding out who wanted to attend our camp. It would be their responsbilty to maintain and develop good realationships with different businesses in the area just in case we needed their assistance for anything. I told you there were a lot of things to consider and that is not even half of the decisions that went into this project. I was so glad that I was not responsible for putting together the financial plan. There were so many numbers and things to consider. The guy who did it for our group, I give him big props for all the serious hard work he put into it. I know there was a lot of frustrating long hours, but it looks like he did a good job from I could tell by glancing at it. Our plan was nowhere near as long as some of the other groups in our class. Two other groups had business plans that were well over 100 pages long. They put a lot of work into theirs, we just had a different type of idea that took a lesser amount of work, I am grateful for what we did. Ours is around 40 pages long and I feel like it is sufficient for what we are doing for our project. We will have to see on Wednesday, when we all present who comes out on top. The top group gets an automatic A and has the priviledge of presenting on Friday in the Senior Symposium presented for the entire school to see if they like. We will be judged by the business faculty, the provost, and some other distinguished guests. Based upon their ratings, the winner will be determined. I am curious to see who comes out on top because I know there are a lot of other smart people and hard workers in our class. It should be fun. My role in the actual presentation will be pretty small as it is not required for all members to participate in the presentation. We have a guy who is really good at presenting and I think he will do a majority of it for us. Wish us luck. Thanks for reading.

Mb

Stormy Sunday

Keeping it brief tonight, as it is getting late and I am trying to battle off a cough that has suddenly emerged within the last 24 hours. Great timing on this one, but what can you do other than get some rest and drink some fluids. Briefly came out of retirement this weekend to win a race and a margarita. Yes by winning a race you can win some alcohol, so living an active lifestyle can be rewarded so keep that in mind. I still plan on taking the next 3 weeks or so off just to recover mentally for all the grinding that I have gone through over the last 8 years and 16,000 miles. I was thinking back on this, other than when I got hurt my senior year of high school and had to take off 6 weeks. The longest I had ever gone without running was two weeks, and that came in high school. The longest I ever took off in college was about 10 days or so. I always felt I needed to get back into it and the longer I took off the more the runs would hurt at the start. Also, being that I lack some natural ability I had to get in all those extra miles that I could. So taking off a month will be a new experience for me. It is allowing me to concentrate a little more on my studies, not necessarily doing more studying, but having the flexibility to get work done during the afternoon and not having to wait until the night to get it done. I have always wondered what it would be like to not be an athlete and go to school. I guess I will never really know. Running and playing sports in school provides you the necessary discipline and determination to get things done in life. It allows for a way to get away from school and other life issues for a couple hours a day to help reduce the stress levels that we all have in our lives. I don't regret the miles and hours I put into this sport, because it shaped me into I am today. Oh, congrats to the Hawks for finally putting the Heat away and advancing to the 2nd round for the first time in 10 years or so. They need a lot of things to go right for them to knock of the LeBrons, but I like the progress they have shown over the last 5 years. Going from 13 wins to 47 wins and advancing into the second round of the playoffs. Next year, hopefully they can keep this core intact and add some key pieces to get to 50 wins and a trip to the conference finals. They have one of the best starting 5's in the league, they are just lacking a little on the leadership side. They need this to play more consistent ball from game to game. The Braves continue to be average, and can't seem to put all phases together for a long period of time. There is just something missing with this team, there is no spark. Well thats all I have for now, take care, have a great week.

Braves April Recap

Alright seeing as this is the first day of May I would like to do an evaluation of some of things that have been going on in the baseball world, especially with my home town Atlanta Braves. I want to lead off talking about some of the offseason moves that we made and how they compare to guys we tried to get now that we are a month into the season. So without further ado, my inner stat geek will be revealed...

Derek Lowe(4yrs 60mil)(Atl)- 2-1 3.10 ERA, 5 starts-29 innings pitched(would be more if not for a rain delay in one of his starts) 25K's and 12 BB.

I have no complaints here, he has been as advertised, chews up innings and will keep you in the ballgame. Everything that I have read about him has been positive, his work ethic is tremendous and he looks to be in mid-season form already. I am really encouraged by what I have seen.

A.J. Burnett(5yrs-80mil)(NYY)- 2-0 5.40 ERA, 5 starts- 31.2 innings pitched, 25K's and 13 BB.

Well deserved reputation as a big strikeout guy, he has the same as Lowe as we speak. He tends to warm up as the season does so we will see if those numbers pick up at all. He is not in a contract year so will his motivation be there to pitch well. Big difference in ERA for these two, I think there is more of a boom or bust factor with Burnett, you don't know whether he will no hit you or give up 5 in 5innings. I think the Yanks are looking for a little more out of this guy. So at the end of one month its Lowe 1 Burnett 0. Stay tuned for further developments.

Garrett Anderson (1 yr-2.5mil)(Atl)- .200 BA, 0 HR 0 RBI .551 OPS 25 AB's in 10 games played

This guy looks like a big waste of money, even at 2.5 million. He has constantly been hurt and he looks to be done. Nothing that he has done has been positive. I'll admit I expected better things from him, but I did not realize how much of a fragile player he was. A calf injury, come on its a calf, are you serious Garrett. He uses that bat of his as more of a walking cane than to hit the ball. He is stealing money right now. We should've just given Brandon Jones the chance to platoon with Diaz, instead we are stuck with this guy for the year. Who knows maybe he will get hot and become a factor, but more likely he will continue to be a non-factor this year and may not even be with this club at the end of the season.

Ken Griffey Jr. (1 yr-2mil)(Sea)- .200 BA, 2 HR 5 RBI .676 OPS 60 AB's in 17 games played

Numbers are not really that much better. Griffey has just been healthier this year, that seems like the only difference. Which is odd if you looked at the last 10 years of these two players, who would have thought Anderson would have a harder time staying on the field. The fact is that both players should be DH's and that's even stretching it a little bit. They have seemingly lost most of the skills they were blessed with over the years. At least Griffey has tried to play this year, Anderson can't get out of his own way. At the end of a month Griffey -5, Anderson -50.

Those are the two main guys I wanted to compare because Burnett and Griffey were the two players closest to becoming Braves this year.

I will now go into some of my good and bad points for the Braves this year. Start off with the good, the Starting Pitching has been really solid so far this year and that is a good change from the last couple of seasons. They currently sit 3rd in the National League in ERA with a 3.62. I'll take that all year long. Lowe-Jurjens-Vazquez have been the stalwarts so far this year. They have also been chewing up innings which will help the bullpen as the season winds on down the year. Also after a slow start to the season the bullpen has started to perform well of late, they currently have the second most strike outs of any bullpen so far this season. So I am encouraged by their improvement as a whole but they still worry me on a night-to-night basis. On the offensive side of the ball, Chipper is being Chipper which is good and bad. Hitting .322 with a solid .929 OPS, while playing his usual solid defense at 3B. He also has missed 5 games with some injuries, which is a constant concern for the team as they seem to not be able to win when he is not in the lineup. I like what Jordan Schafer has done out in CF in all facets of the game so far. He has little pressure on him by hitting 7 or 8 in the lineup and his defense has been solid as he has covered a lot of ground out in the field, while possessing an excellent arm. He is currently hitting .273 with a .854 OPS. I will take that all year long from him. He leads the team with 16 BB but also leads the team with 23 K's, but that's what you get with a rookie. He may be moved to the top of the lineup soon because of the speed threat that he has. Kotchman has been good at 1B, he has come up with a lot of clutch plays this year, while throwing up some solid leather over there at 1B. The bench has been excellent as expected, Prado, Infante, and Ross have been good when put into the lineup and being called upon to pinch-hit so far this season. Ross has been the most valuable offseason (including Lowe and Vazquez) move made by the club, because of the eye issues with McCann, he has been forced to play a little more than expected but has stepped up in a big way so far this year.

Some of the bad, starts with the offense's overall lack of consistency and the ability to do just about anything right swinging the bats. They are 12th in runs scored, 12th in home runs, and 9th in BA in the National League. That won't cut it. You lose a lot of 4-3 games that way and it gives your pitching little room for air that way. You are putting a lot of pressure on your pitchers every time out there, which is not good because then they pitch tighter and make more mistakes. Most of the problems lie with the ineffectiveness of Kelly Johnson in the leadoff role. He is hitting .203 this year with a .295 OBP. A leadoff man cannot be getting on base less than 30 percent of the time. They need to be at 35 percent and above. Kelly just is not finding any holes this year and that hurts because of the threat he poses on the base paths. Another problem lies with Brian McCann, the expected cleanup hitter this year, who has struggled with eye problems and blurry vision. Not being able to see is pretty tough for the average human being, but not being able to see and trying to hit a 90 MPH fastball or even catch one behind the plate is a troublesome issue. He has hit .195 this year, very un-McCann like. If this team is to score more runs, he needs to be a big factor in that. Hopefully that stuff gets corrected and he can return to a .300 BA and 20 HR type production. They surely do need his bat. Middle relief is still a little bit of a concern for me. Who comes in to stop the bleeding the 5th and 6th inning? Not sure at the moment and that could be a detriment to this seasons overall success.

So some things to look for in the next month. Will Tommy Hanson be in the starting 5 by the end of the month? He has been solid in AAA and the Braves only have 1 off day this month, so the time may be near, especially if the back end of the rotation can't find its solutions. Will Jo-Jo Reyes be able to solidify the back end of the rotation for the Bravos? He has the potential to be excellent as a #4 starter, hopefully the Braves can score some runs for him. Which leads me to my next point. Who will provide the offense for this club? Chipper can get on base but he needs people to hit him in. Chipper also needs people to drive in for himself, so we need guys who can get on base in front of him. McCann needs to come back in a big way and provide that protect for Chip. Will Kelly Johnson be forced into some type of a platoon if he continues to struggle at the plate? Omar Infante and Martin Prado have proven to be more than capable in a short time span, may be they deserve a chance. Can Jeff Francouer keep up his solid start to the season? I think he will. He looks fit and his defense and approach at the plate have shown impressive strides since last season. That is my recap of all the Braves happenings so far this year. Thanks for reading.

Mb