Expectations and Graduation

Expectations, you got to be careful with this word. Throughout my life I have learned to keep expectations reasonable and realistic. Never has that become more apparent to me over these last 24 hours or so. I am not an overly religious person but I do believe that everything happens for a reason according to a plan set aside by a higher being. You should not set the bar too high or you will just end up being disappointed. I should have heeded my own advice for this week's expectations for graduation, which will be tomorrow at 11am. I like to envision how certain things will turn out for every important event in my life, whether it be athletic or academic related. I envision the people who will be here, the stories that will be shared, etc.. If recent events are an indicator of how things will be different post-college than I thank the Lord for testing my will and how to handle myself when things do not go according to plan. I know deep down there is a reason behind all this "drama" and one day I will know for sure why it all happened the way it did. With out knowing how I will feel approximately 24 hours from now or what events will transpire between now and then, I will try to regain that excitement that had been building all week and re envision a new scenario with different people and different events. Without going into too much detail over the last 18 hours; my grandpa and his wife will not be able to attend because of a knee injury he suffered yesterday, a friend of mine who graduated last year will not be able to attend because of last minute academic responsibilities that could not be helped, a close friend who has mysteriously gone MIA over the last 48 hours, and the lady who was in charge of booking our cabin for this weekend wrote down the wrong days and we have to push back the move in date 24 hours to Saturday. I can already some silver lining, pointed out to me by my dad, the place that my family has to stay at for this evening is pretty cramped and would have been more cramped had my grandfather and his wife been up here. So I guess that worked out OK. I was also looking forward to getting out of this dorm by this afternoon but that will have to wait until tomorrow afternoon. Its an adjustment I will have to make, whats one more day in a dorm? Some might say oh that's not a big deal, but it is to someone like me at this point in my life. With an event like Graduation every one has expectations of how it will turn out. You want to do such and such thing with such and such person. Over these last few years I have tried to consciously evolve from a high strung, too uptight person to someone who could just go with the flow and let things happen as they may. These recent events have emphasized that kind of evolution that I have been on and continue to be on in every day of my life. With every negative situation there arises an opportunity for something positive to happen. I am going to try my darnedest to make sure that I have a good time over these next few days and that I do not ruin anybody elses good time with a negative attitude or disposition. There are not many people that really truly care about what goes on in your life. Everybody has their own shit to deal with they don't want to be burdened with your troubles because they have troubles of their own. These issues are family issues and that is where they will be discussed, not among friends. I want to leave here on a positive note and in good spirits. I can't do that if I carry the burden of those who are not here. While I will miss them, I have to move on. I know these people could not be here for valid reasons so I can respect that and know that if they could be here they would be. So on that note I would like to say thank you to everyone who has helped me along my journey. My family, my good friends, my coaches, my professors, my grade school teachers. Thank you for helping me along the way. I will not forget how much you have done for me. I really appreciate it.

"Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

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